


Batman v. Bateman

by Disneyfan1234



Category: American Psycho - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Blood and Gore, Choking, Domestic Violence, Dorsia, Homelessness, Insanity, Murder, Other, Prostitution, Rape, Sex in a Car, Swearing, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2018-09-11 15:52:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8997208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Disneyfan1234/pseuds/Disneyfan1234
Summary: American Psycho in Gotham. Patrick Bateman continues to live his life, hiding what he truly is inside. Until he meets a clown that understands him. Also, he's secretly being hunted by the world's greatest detective. Authors Note: I tried to emulate the writing style of Ellis while writing it, this the lack of transitions and the overall strangeness of it all.





	1. Her

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for the lack of uploading. I've been busy. Now that it's winter break, uploads should be more often.

"Who could have done this?" Gordon asks the shadow behind him. "I mean, dear god, look at his eyes! They're cut open!"  
He had seen plenty of murders in his time as commissioner, but something about this homeless man, it made him sick.  
"His cuts were precise, and they're appears to be no sign of struggle. This wasn't a mugging or ambush. Whoever did this also couldn't have been a very suspicious character, or the homeless man would have tried to flee." The Batman says, searching the body for any evidence that could lead him to the killer.  
"Do you think it was Zsasz?"  
"No, this isn't his style. I think there is a new serial killer in my city. A true sociopath."

"I used to be a renegade, I used to fool around..." Patrick Bateman was listening to Hip to Be Square, by Huey Lewis and the News out of his new Sony Walkman. He loved how this '87 masterpiece discussed the pleasures of conformity, but also was a truly catchy toon. It also brought back great memories of murdering that bastard...what was his name...I've killed so many...PAUL! That joker. He thought I had a chow.  
"But I couldn't take the punishment, and had to settle down."  
"Good morning Jean."  
"Oh! Good morning Mr. Bateman. Ozzy Cobblepot invited you over to his lounge for lunch today..."  
"No."  
"The Falcones say they just received a new shipment."  
"There stuff is shit. No."  
"Luis said to call him back. He said the two of you needed to talk about the 'bathroom accident', whatever that is."  
"Haha. Hell no. What have I told you. Just say no." Patrick said as he stormed into his office. After sitting in his ERA products office chair, he realized that his watch was missing.  
"Where the hell!" Patrick panics. He never takes of his watch not even during sex, which was pretty good last night. He banged this chick. She disappointingly wasn't blonde, but I found her in a real tight latex suit, so her brunette hair was good enough. Plus her ass and tits we're great. What was her name... Selina? Yeah it was Selina. SHIT! IT WAS SELINA. THAT BITCH STOLE MY ROLEX!  
"I'm going to kill her. I'm going to... I'm going to..."  
"Patrick, is everything ok?"  
"Just say no Jean!"  
"But, it's Bruce Wayne. He wants a meeting to discuss a deal."  
After a moment of silence, Patrick responds, "When and where."

"Thanks for agreeing to meet with me on such short notice." Bruce Wayne greets Patrick at Dorsia. Patrick is silently furious that Bruce Wayne can get a reservation at Dorsia and he can't.  
"So, I hope works been treating you well." Bruce says as the waiter fills Patrick's champagne flute.  
"I hate it and am going to kill a bitch tonight."  
"That's good to hear." Bruce says, taking a sip of champagne. "Now about that proposition. No."  
"What do you mean no?" Patrick says, his hands shaking as he takes a sip of champagne.  
"Wayne Enterprises will not buy out Pierce & Pierce, and we will not hire you to be our head of Mergers and Acquisitions. It's just illogical."  
"You're on my list now, Wayne. I'm going to cut your heart out and microwave it like a goddamn jellyfish."  
"I'm glad you're taking it so well. It's very professional of you. Now where is that waiter, I'm starved."

The rest of the meal goes by surprisingly well. Patrick makes it through without surrendering to his homicidal urges, probably due to his come break he took halfway through the meal. Bruce had ordered some foreign dish and Patrick had ordered something that isn't going to keep the knife from puncturing the jugular of the homeless man Patrick met later that day. As the bum bled out before Patrick, he tried to think of a way to get his watch back. He decided to just drive around in his limo until he saw a hardbody in a cat costume. 

Later in the day, Patrick did exactly that. He was riding around in his limo when suddenly, a blonde hardbody gets into his car with a sack of cash and a baseball bat.  
"Drive or I'll kill you rich boy." The hardbody threatens, she had some red and blue added to her hair and she seemed really pale, but something deep in her eyes comforted Patrick, something seemed familiar to him.  
"Why the hell are you looking at me like that?" The hardbody asked, slightly confused.  
"I've never met anyone like me. I'm completely insane, and you are too, aren't you. I'm Marcus, I mean Mark, I mean, Patrick, who are you?"  
"My name is Harley Quinn, nice to meetcha."  
"The pleasure is all mine." 

A bottle of champagne pops. The stream of the drink splashes onto Harley's tits as she slams down on Patrick's cock. The liquid causing her tits to shine as the limo drove past streetlights and other cars. Harley needed surprisingly little motivation to start sucking away at Patrick's cock. Now she was bouncing up and down, feeling Patrick's dick go deeper into her every time.  
"Mmm..." Harley moans.  
"I want you to be vocal when I make you cum. I want you to scream and moan once you can't take it anymore and you let pleasure take over. Understand?"  
"Righty-Oh Mr. Pat." Harley moans, her tits bouncing on every thrust.  
"I love your dick pushing through me." While Harley is having a pleasurable time, Patrick is having a panic attack. His bloodlust was gone. He couldn't imagine doing anything to hurt this hardbody clown bouncing on his massive cock.  
After an hour, Harley was finally breaking. "You're doing it Patman, you're doing it! Ohh! Ohh! I'm cumming. I'm cumming on your massive cock. Ahh! Holy shit!"  
"Good Girl. I can get your payment..."  
"Payment ain't necessary, just call me. Here's my number." She says as she gets out of the limo.  
"Holy shit." Patrick says, taking some deep breaths, his homicidal urges returning. "I need to kill a fag." He says, motioning for his driver to drive on into the endless darkness of night.


	2. Clown

Patrick Bateman woke up the next morning, surprisingly well rested. He got out of bed and walked to one of his bathrooms, carefully stepping over the dismembered body on the floor. He begins his morning routine, every detail planned out, exactly like everyday before, and everyday to come. Patrick then goes to eat breakfast, a mix of food he had had delivered to his apartment and the discarded parts that Rachel no longer needed, like her eyes. After he was done, he headed to the office to begin another day at his insignificant job.

The days fly by in a blur. Tuesday goes to Friday goes to Thursday goes to Sunday. Patrick following the same schedule every night. Until Friday night.

"How about we get it on?" Patrick says, nodding to the two humanoid figures laying on his couch.  
"I mean, that's why we're here." The blonde one says, already undressing.  
"I want your throbbing cock Paul." The other blonde one says. Patrick had called these two girls to his apartment an hour ago using Paul Allen's name. As he led the girls to the bedroom, there was a knocking on the door.  
"Just ignore it." He said to the girls, unbuckling his pants. He motioned for them to start kissing now that they were both fully nude.  
"Puddin, it's me! Please open up." That unforgettable voice echoes in Patrick's head.  
"Wait here." Patrick says, walking towards the door. As Patrick's about to open the door, an explosion blows him away, shattering the door. As the smoke clears, Patrick makes out several figures in the doorway. Harley stands there, next to a man in purple.  
"This is the scumbag you fucked?! This punk?" The purple man yells at Harley. He walks over to Patrick, who is still dazed and confused.  
"Despicable. AH HAHAHA!" He spits. Patrick manages to catch a glimpse under the mans wide purple hat.  
"Paul?" Patrick says, seeing the face of Paul Allen, but it was different.  
"What? Did you say something?"  
"I killed you..." Patrick mutters.  
"AH HAHAHA! And I thought I was a Joker! Haha!" The Joker laughs, before turning around and kicking him in the ribs, "If you so much as read about my bitch in the paper, I will blow off your damn head."  
"I'm sorry Patrick." Harley says.  
"AND YOU! If I recall correctly, Bob says you got in the car. You initiated the intercourse. Is Bob lying to me?"  
"No puddin." Harley says, looking down.  
Joker turns around, sighs, then whips around, smacking Harley across the face with the back of his hand, knocking the girl to the ground.  
"Hey, Paul."  
"What!" Joker says, tired of the entire encounter.  
"Keep your hands off of her."  
"Get him." The Joker says, motioning to the two other men who had accompanied him. They walked towards Patrick, cracking their knuckles.  
"Now Gentleman." Patrick says, sliding a hand in his jacket.  
"I'm gonna enjoy destroying your face, pretty boy." The first thug says, swinging at Patrick's face. Patrick ducks and, pulling a razor sharp chefs knife from his jacket, stabs the man in the leg. Screaming in pain, the man falls onto his knees, where Patrick pulls the knife out and cuts the mans neck, thick red blood spraying out onto the other thug, blinding him. The second thug couldn't see a thing, so he was completely surprised when the blade of a knife cut open his chest. He also didn't know that it was his stomach that was the first to fall out.  
"Well, that was entertaining. Hopefully this is the last time we meet, because if you see this face again, it will be the last time." The Joker says, pulling Harley along. Patrick picks his knife off of the floor, putting it in the sink so he could wash it later, before returning to the bedroom, covered in blood to two cowering girls.  
"So, where were we." He says, opening a drawer in his dresser, "Sorry, I'm assuming you're not in the mood anymore. So we're going to need to skip to the fun part." He says, pulling a stapler, a scalpel, and a grenade out of the drawer. He could have gotten off on the looks of fear on their faces alone, one had even pissed in the bed. "Who's first?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been away for so long. I'm going to try to get back into it.
> 
> I've created a kik for you guys to directly contact me. It's Disney_Facebook. Don't ask. Contact me if you have questions, requests, or just want to chat.


	3. Cat

"About time" A woman in latex says to the man in a bat suit approaching her from behind.   
"There are many buildings in this city. You could have been more specific." The Batman says, "Why did you want to meet me?"   
"Today's our anniversary, Batman. I got you a gift." Catwoman says, turning to the Batman and handing him a small package, "I didn't steal it from any store, I promise."   
Batman opens the box carefully, revealing a shining Rolex watch.   
"Selina, why?" Batman asks, genuinely surprised.  
"Because I really want my gift now."   
"I didn't get you anything, I didn't know."  
"Silly boy, you've got the only gift I ever want. Did you make that update to your suit?" Catwoman kneels down, taking off the pelvic plating, revealing a 9 inch cock.   
"Happy anniversary to me." Catwoman says, licking her lips.   
"Selina, we shouldn't. Not here. You'll become a target."  
"I can take care of myself. Now let me take care of you." She says before taking as much length as she can into her mouth, which is only 6 inches. She rubs the balls as she licks the tip and puts it back in her mouth.   
"Selina..."   
"Do you want to fuck me or not!"   
With that, Batman picks up the cat burglar and, after pushing her against the wall and cutting open the bottom of her suit, pushes his first few inches into the tight, wet pussy begging for a cock.   
"That's more like it."   
"Well now, isn't this interesting." A someone says to themselves from a window, a few buildings away, watching the two vigilantes engage in very rough sex. "Huh, beats paying for it." They say before unzipping their pants.   
"Oh baby yes, ravage this kitty's pussy! Holy shit yes!" Catwoman moans, clawing marks into the brick wall she's pushed against. Batman remains silent, only letting out short, quiet grunts. Little did they know, a work associate of Bruce Wayne's was right underneath them. 

"You stupid bitch!" Bateman yells, slapping a blonde college student. "You were so pretty, but you just had to be a screamer, didn't you." The young girl was tied to a chair, cuts along her body and face, her hair was a mess and her makeup was running down her face because of the tears. Her clothes were currently in the fireplace burning.  
"Don't you dare yell again, or I'll have to drug you again, and neither of us would like that, now would we?" After threatening the girl into silence, he grabs a hold of his blood covered cock, and after lining it back up, pushes back into the girl, her face contorting in pain as Patrick rapes her.   
"Look at me!" He yells, grabbing her by the throat and forcing her head up, choking her. "That's more like it!" He moans as he tightens his hold on her neck, her face slowly turning purple.   
"Hell yeah! Doesn't this feel good? Do you love my muscles more, or is it the heft of my cock?" The girl tries to choke out a response as tears start pouring out of her eyes, her vision starting to blur.   
"Well, no matter what it is, you'll love this next part." He says, feeling himself reach completion. As he feels himself shoot his load in the blonde, his arms involuntarily flex, snapping the girls neck.   
"Well shit." Patrick says, pulling his cock out of the dead girl. The drilldo will have to wait. 

Batman might have been able to save the girl, if only she could've been able to scream louder than Catwoman's moans of pleasure. But alas, as a young woman was murdered and raped, Batman and his Cat engaged in an intense act of intercourse.   
As Batman neared the end, Catwoman takes his cock back in her mouth, tasting herself off of his pulsing member. Finally, she feels his balls tense as his warm cum oozes into her mouth. After using her tongue to lick the tip clean, she swallows it all, showing the Batman her empty mouth.   
"That was a lot. Have you been saving up for me?" She winks.  
"I've been a bit busy catching serial killers and psychopaths." Batman says, straight faced as he replaces his pelvic plating.  
"Always the romantic."   
"I love you, Selina." Batman says, after a pause. Selina stands there, frozen in shock.   
"Wait, did you just... Bruce?" Selina asks as The Batman grapples off into the night.   
"I love you too, Bruce." She says as she runs back to her apartment to repair her torn outfit.


	4. Revenge

"Hey Bateman! Have a good night?" Price asks Patrick as he enters Pierce & Pierce.  
"Well, I accidentally killed a girl by crushing her larynx..."  
"Anyway, you'll never believe what I saw the other night on the rooftops. There was that Batman guy fucking some hardbody in a latex cat suit. I thought my cocaine had been laced with something!" Price laughs, slapping Bateman on the back.  
"Did you say she was wearing a catsuit?" Patrick asks, slowly realizing who it was. "And the Batman? The vigilante sworn to protecting our great city from maniacs who murder college students for fun? Of course." 

 

"God Dammit!" The Joker yells, flipping over a table in rage. He was in his funhouse. A couple of goons accompanied him in the open room. The room was lined with mirrors, as if it were a mirror maze. A couple of chairs and tables, and the newest installment to the funhouse was the giant cage in which Harley Quinn was being kept.   
"What's da matta, puddin?"   
"Don't you dare 'puddin' me bitch. You're half my problem. If I can't control you, I can't control the streets of Gotham, and some wannabe asshats want to take my land! And it's all your fault!"  
"I'm sorry puddin, I didn't mean for all of this to happen..."  
"Do you know how easy it would be to find another Harley Quinn? Very. It would be very easy." The Joker says menacingly, putting his face right against the bars of Harley's cage. He reaches down towards a his waist and shows off a knife he has in his belt.   
"Actually that's not such a bad idea... hahaha Ha HA HAA! I don't need you. I never did and never will. Maybe it's time for Harley Number Four."  
"Four?" Harley asks, concerned by the Jokers revelation.  
"Oh yeah, you think you were the first? You aren't special in any way. You're as insignificant as that son of a bitch over there." The Joker says, pointing to a goon standing against a mirror. The Joker pulls out his revolver and fires it at the man. The mirror becomes splattered with red as the bullet blows into the mans forehead, digging through his brain.   
"AAAAHAHAHAHAA..." the Joker roars.   
"Cmon puddin, give me one more chance."  
"Fine, you want one more chance? Go get that goddamn banker boyfriend of yours and bring him here. Then I may forgive you." He says before breaking into another fit of laughter.

 

"That's the ninth one this month! If these disappearances are related, they're becoming more frequent."   
"Jim, I'm very aware of the situation, but the culprit is good. I have practically no information on this other than the disappearances are usually young women, they tend to be blonde and they're never seen again." Batman responds to the police commissioner through his earpiece. He's searching the Bat-computer for any information on the missing women.  
"I'm disgusted to think about what's happening to them. What if my daughter goes missing one day..."  
"I won't let that happen."


	5. Limo

“Good Morning Patrick! How was your night?” Jean says. It was a new day and she was determined to make it a good one, even though, unfortunately, it would be one of the worst days of her life.   
“Good Morning Jean. I had a great night. A fantastic night.”  
“That’s great to hear. You got a call from...”  
“Jean... Just. Say. No.”  
“I think it was your therapist, Dr. Harleen Quinzel? She was asking to meet with you at lunch, I believe. Should I call back and cancel?”  
“No!” Patrick shouts, louder than he meant to, “let me call her back in my office.”   
“Yes sir.” Jean complies, patching the number through. 

“Hello?”   
“Harley? It’s me, Patrick.”  
“Oh boy oh boy! Ya got my message? Yayy!”  
“You said you wanted to meet me?”  
“Oh yeah! Hows a fancy dancy lunch sound? 1 o’clock?”  
“Where? I could get us reservations at Dor-“  
“No need! I got us seats at a nice establishment. You’ll love it! See you soon!” Harley hurriedly hangs up, leaving Patrick in silence in his office. 

“A car is here for you, Mr. Bateman.” Jean tells her boss.  
“Perfect.” Patrick says. Jean had never seen Patrick like this before. It was almost like he was, nervous.   
“I’ll be back later.” He says as he heads out the door of his office. 

“Patty! It’s so good to see you!” Harley giggles when Patrick steps into the black limousine. Patrick looks around the car. He sees Harley, a bucket with bottles of champagne, and two armed goons.  
“It’s good to see you too, Harley. Where are we going?”  
“We’re going to see the boss.” One of the goon says. Patrick didn’t think it was possible, but Harley somehow got paler.   
“Harley...where are we going.” Patrick says, trying to stay calm. He slowly reaches into his jacket for his knife but internally panics when he can’t find it.   
“Well, um... you see...”  
“This bitch got in trouble with fucking you and now she’s gots to turn you in to Mr. J otherwise she gonna get punished real bad.” The other goon says, chuckling at the panicked look on Harley’s face.   
“Is this true Harley? Were you going to turn me in?”  
“Well...I...” Harley sighs. “I’m not gonna turn you in. I just wanted to warn you.” Harley pulls out her golden pistol and fires it at the two goons, killing them before they could react.   
“Mister J is real mad at me. He wants to kill you. But I think I love you and I couldn’t let him do that.”  
“Harley...” Patrick says, wiping some blood off his face.  
“Honestly, I’m really fuckin scared to go back. He’s gonna hurt me real bad.” Harley says, tears welling up in her eyes.   
“Come with me. I have the money. We can get out of this city, away from the Joker and the Batman and the rest of the fucking crazies and be together because I love-“ Harley kisses Patrick.   
“That sounds nice. It really does. But there is something I need to try.” Harley says, opening the door of the limo and pushing the Patrick out of the car.   
“Harley!” Patrick yells as the limo speeds away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, this is the only story that I’m having ideas for. If there is a different story that you want me to add to, give some ideas of what you want to see and I’ll work on it.


End file.
